Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Parents Love

I've been giving a lot of thought into parents and their behavior towards their children. In particulat how parents have "favorites." They really do yet every parent infatically states that they don't. I believe the ONLY parent who doesn't is our loving Heavenly Father who loves each one of us the exact same! As for parents, on this earth, it really is only natural to like one child over others. Usually it's the one we can most relate to or the one who has the qualities we really like in ourselves so we can be more ourself with them. In my case I can honestly say that I don't play favorites, but that's because I only have one!! :-)

If one honestly thinks about it they can see the truth in the statement. Each one of you, who are parents, can look at their children and determine which one that is. It might not just be one, you might like several more than another. Maybe you have two, three, four, or even five  kids and one is just sooooo not like you and has had some experiences in their life that you just can't relate too so it's difficult to truly want to be around them a lot or you just find yourself calling the others more or something. I just wish we could be honest about this. It's okay because when that child becomes a parent they will have their favorite(s) too.

I guess in my experience it's hard to see, as a child, the favorites of my own parents. I know that I am the one who is and always has been so different from both my parents that I am far from their favorite. I'm okay, well not really, but I have learned to accept that, I just wish my parents weren't embarrassed to actually say this out loud. Instead they adimately disagree and won't even listen to the fact that there may be some truth to this. 

Now I'm not here to bash my parents but they are the ones whom I know best and am able to really see how this challenge affects others. I just wanted to get it out there, that ALL parents, unless they only have one child, have favorites! They relate better with some over others just as we all do in every relationship.

Take friendship, for example. Our friends are our friends because they get us and we get them. We understand one another. That doesn't mean that we are angry with everyone else because they aren't our friends or because they don't like us the way they like others. It's just the way it is and we accept that.  But when it comes to family members we aren't so accepting. Why?

If you look at it, and I'm sure you've realized this before but let me remind you, we tend to treat those around us the most more "normally" than we do others. We get it in our heads that those in our family are going to love us no matter what so it's okay to treat them a little, or a lot, less nicely than we do even total strangers. I'm not sure why that is but it is true. We may not want to and even try hard not to but for the most part we all do. If some how we can be reminded of this and be able to stop ourselves before we act or speak this way we would be much better off but that's not always easy.

We are not going through this alone, although it may feel this way at time. Also, we need to remember that this is our first time as a parent, with EACH of our children. They are all so different that we need to be reminded that this is our first time as a parent with this child and how should I really handle things? The biggest part of our life needs to be focused on what God would have us do. He has laid the groundwork for us. It's not always easy to remember and it's not always as clear but it's there. We need to listen to His words and the words He send through out prophets and other church leaders on earth today.

I some of the reading in class I found some very interesting words by our prophets. President Henry B. Eyring, at a BYU Address in November of 1995 stated, "Because our Father loves his children, he will not leave us to guess about what matters most in this life concerning where our attention could bring happiness or our indifference bring sadness. Sometimes he will tell us directly, by inspiration. But he will, in addition, tell us through his servants."

"We may have to pray with faith to know what we are todo, and we must pray with a determination to obey."

Powerful and very helpful words from a living prophet of God. We are not left alone on this journey of ours. Every day God is with us and has sent us tools to get us through. We can't go and talk with Him face to face whenever we want to but we can turn to Him in prayer and seek out the good words of prophets through scriptures and other means to learn how to get through each moment in life.

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